What creates authentic communication? First and foremost: a desire to truly connect.

If you’re not familiar with Jerry Zaks, let’s just say he is to Broadway what Steven Spielberg is to films. I was lucky enough to meet Jerry of all places while on jury duty…but that’s another story.

A few months later over lunch, I asked him how he directed his actors so that their behavior on stage became so real and their dialogue so connected.

His response: “I tell my actors that what they’re after is to change the look behind the other person’s eyes.”  In less effective stage productions (as well as presentations or consultative sales settings), the presenter often talks at his or her audience, often so wound up that they forget to see if the message is truly landing with the audience.

But if your intention is to truly connect —to create an authentic connection — you will be be supremely attentive to whether the person or people are receiving what you’re saying.

So think back on an interaction today or yesterday—a dinner conversation with your husband or wife…a presentation you gave…a meeting you had. And ask yourself: “Where in fact was my focus?”